What is Marriage?
Marriage is a union between a man and woman who have agreed to become husband and wife.
Basic elements of marriage:
-Consent of both parties and their parents.
-Payment of dowry
-Marriageable age
-Soundness of mind et cetera.
Types of marriage
i. Marriage under the Act/Registry Marriage
ii. Customary Marriage
iii. Christian/Islamic Marriage.
Permit me to underscore the importance of Marriage under the Act/Registry Marriage.
Marriage under the Act is the type of marriage that is highly regulated by law, easily conducted and less expensive.
This is the type of marriage we know and loosely referred to as
Court marriage
However, it is not a Court marriage in that it is neither conducted in Court nor officiated by a Court official. It is done at the Marriage Registry and officiated by an official designated by law for that purpose.
Haven fulfilled all the conditions precedent for a valid Marriage, if the parties desire to go by a Marriage under the Act, they approach the registry; certain fees would be paid, a date is fixed, they come with their witnesses and a few relatives, marriage is conducted, a Marriage Certificate will be issued to the bride and everybody goes home.
The major importance of this kind of marriage is the security it offers at length. It proscribes any other marriage when this marriage still subsists, protects your interest in the event of dissolution, makes provision for the children of the marriage and also makes provision for compensation in the case of dissolution.
Can a Marriage ever hit the rock to an extent where parties would elect to let go for good?
Yes!
A marriage can come to an abrupt end in the following circumstances:
-When the marriage has broken down irretrievably
-Desertion by either of the parties
-Adultery
-Cruelty
-Lack of cohabitation
-Contagious disease
-Non-disclosure of material facts/Malicious concealment.
Et cetera In any of the cases above, a party can approach the Court to have the marriage dissolved.
Appropriate Court? Any High Court in Nigeria will suffice, that you cannot go back to the registry where the marriage was conducted to have it dissolved, they don’t have the power to do that. The only institution that has the jurisdiction to interfere is the High Court.
Understand the distinction between dissolution of marriage and an annulment of marriage.
A lot of people uses the two interchangeably which is wrong. While dissolution occurs where there was a valid and existing marriage which has broken down irretrievably, annulment is when the constitution of the marriage was itself *void ab initio.*
In the former case, it is only a party to the marriage that can sue for dissolution. While in the later case, an independent party may file for an annulment.
Factors that renders a marriage void:
-Lack of consent of either of the parties,
-Lack of marriageable age,
-Unsoundness of the mind
-Duress and undue influence
-Fraudulent misrepresentation/deceit et cetera.
The presence of any of the above factors will render the marriage void and the affected party or an independent party may sue to have the marriage nullified.
Annulment is simply vacating the marriage and setting both parties free as though the marriage never existed. It is further stressed that a marriage that was not conducted under the Act can be annulled or dissolved in a Customary Court within your locality.
Nobody ever ventures into the institution of marriage preempting same to crash so soon thereafter, however; what do you do in the event of the unlikely.
Apparently you have to seek for a solution and one of the appropriate is to leave the marriage. It is far better to leave alive and be addressed as a divorcee than to endure and die silently in the name of a failed marriage.
Haven said that, the next line of questions will be:
What do you do with the properties you both acquired together as a couple?
-Was the marriage blessed with children?
-What do you do with them?
-Who should have custody?
-Who should take responsibility for their maintenance and upkeep, shelter and education?
To properly answer these questions, good and wise counselling is required. It is advised that you get a lawyer to properly guide you through this and protect your interest and that of your children.
It is very expedient to again underscore the danger and impediment of living with a man who is not your husband and having children for him. Unless and until those basic ingredients of a valid marriage are met, no marriage can safely be inferred.
No matter how long you both have stayed together under the same roof and pooping kids, there is no marriage between the two of you and none of you can legally lay claims to anything belonging to the other party in the event of the unlikely.
It is advised that you both asses and analyze yourselves before moving in with one another.
Ask important questions, questions about commitment, future plans and be upfront with one another. That way you can easily define your relationship and avoid simple but costly mistakes.